By Susan Carlisle
I recently received a questionnaire from Harlequin requesting I answer some questions for media proposes. I’m not a good questionnaire ‘filler outer.‘ I mess up on almost all medical forms in doctors’ offices. They always end up with big black marked out places on them. I’m not much better with IRS forms. Anyway, I wanted to do a good job this time.I filled in the pertinent info of who, what, when , where and why with no problem but the questions that stumped me were the personal ones about romance. I told my husband he was going to have to help me answer them. Now, before your mind goes to the gutter, that’s not what I was talking about. The question I was having the most difficulty with was this one: What is the most romantic thing ever done for you?
When I asked my husband what he thought was the most romantic thing he’d ever done for me, he just looked at me. The question hung in the air between us. Neither of us could remember anything. I finally came up with the time he cooked pheasant in wine sauce and dressing for me while we were dating. Not bad, but that was over thirty years ago!
Now, before you think how sad is that? I need to clarify. I’ve been married almost thirty years. We have four children. We’ve lived through some hair rising events together. We’ve traveled all over US and Europe together and still enjoy each other’s company. My husband still makes me laugh and I actually like him better now than when I married him. We understand each other. He lets me be me. I find that particularly romantic.
My book The Nurse He Shouldn’t Notice which is coming out in August is dedicated to my husband. It reads: To Andy, the Mr. Romance in my life. After what you’ve just learn you can understand why is a running joke in our house and between our friends.
After trying to remember the most romantic time in my life, I decide that I just have a different definition than the traditional one of roses, candlelight and fancy dinners. Romance to me is being supported and loved even when it is hard to do. It’s long term. Years and years worth. Romance is give and take, compromising and caring about the other person more than yourself. Romance is a man that will clean the baths because he knows you hate to do it.
Do you have a nontraditional definition of romance? What do you find romantic?