We are well past Valentine’s Day, but a romance author (and probably a lot of other people, too) are rarely far away from thoughts about falling in love. I think about it all the time. I am a love addict. I don’t just love my husband, friends and family, I love my dogs, my cows, chocolate chip cookies and books. I love movies, and flowers and the way pussy willows are so incredibly soft. I love fresh linen, the scent of cloves in an orange and the new boots I bought that are the least sensible item of clothing I own and serve zero purpose to someone living on a farm during a pandemic. I could go on. But instead, I’ll get to the point of this post. Falling in love. Is it as simple as love at first sight? Or is it more complex than that?
Is love quantifiable? This is the question one Canadian psychologist has been asking himself and thousands of others. Can falling in love be as easy as answering a thirty-six question form with a stranger? He thinks there’s a pretty good chance it is.
I am trying to write a romance about a woman secretly trying to get someone to fall in love with her via this questionnaire. Some of the questions are easy: Would you like to be famous? When did you last sing to yourself? If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Others are much more complex. What is your most treasured memory? How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? What roles do love and affection play in your life? (NB: The Dalmatian below is a painting by Coco de Paris, an artist I ADORE!!!!)
Reading all of these questions made me think about my own relationships and how much my husband I delved into the deep end of getting to know one another. We talked endlessly in the beginning, but now, like many couples who’ve been together, conversations have developed a kind of Familiarity Shorthand. I know we have a lot of differences. But I also know our core values are solidly on the same page. That was important to both of us. And maybe that’s what loving someone is about. Figuring out what’s important to you. I’ll admit it. I would love it if my guy knew how to open the dishwasher and put things in it instead of just near it. But knowing he believes in the same things I do in regards to kindness, generosity, somehow trumps his inability to open the door and put something in. (Although if I got both – O! The daily elation! And, in fairness, he’d probably love a wife who cleaned the car, so…fair is fair.)
I have no answers, but I do know it’s fun giving my characters answers. When I finish the book, I’ll let you know how they did!
On a completely different note, I’ve been listening to loads of audio books during lockdown. When I walk the hounds. When I garden. When I drive. It means I get to double my ‘reading’!
These are the ones I’ve listened to lately. They were all great, but the first two were particularly wonderful. What have you read/listened to lately and when do you listen? Sending big love out to everyone. I know the pandemic has made life tough this past year, so THANK HEAVENS for books! xoxoxoox
PS – Speaking of books – the gorgeous Scarlet Wilson and I have a duet out mid-April set in Rome! Gorgeous surgeons. One shared, make or break surgery, and, of course falling in love Italian style!