I’ve been pretty good with my social media stuff, not expressing opinions about much of anything, even when I’ve had plenty of words and opinions. I don’t engage in debate or argument, though. That’s just me. Everybody’s entitled to what they want to believe, and I subscribe to the ‘live and let live’ philosophy. But as good as I’ve been, I do have some thoughts about the personal adjustments I’ve had to make simply to keep my mouth (or my typing fingers) tuned off.
Now, here’s my opinion pushing its way through. I think that’s what more of us should do. Not the closing mouth part so much as the adjusting part. For me, not expressing my opinions publicly has been rough because I’m an opinionated person by nature. Too opinionated, according to my husband. But, I’ve worked really hard to keep it to myself these past couple of years, and it’s actually quite nice to realize that I can sit back, listen, and possibly learn a thing or two I wouldn’t have, had I not adjusted my old attitude and turned it into something better.
To me, adjustment is about what do in our lives every day to get ourselves through to the next day. It would be nice if things slowed down, or even stopped sometimes. It would also be nice to think that when we wake up in the world today, we’ll wake up in the very same world tomorrow. But that doesn’t happen, does it? Next week I’ll wake up a year older than I’ve been for the past 365 days. I’m perfectly fine with the age I am now, but no matter how hard I fight against the marching of time, I’m going to have to adjust to being another age.
Years ago, I thought the whole cell phone thing was stupid. Why do people have to stay in touch every minute of every day? I didn’t have one, didn’t want one. But, I finally gave in. Don’t remember why. Just remember that I did. I didn’t use it much, though because mentally, I wasn’t able to make that adjustment yet. Or, maybe I just didn’t want to. Whatever the case, I carried it around for a year, turned off most of the time, and wondered why I was paying such a ridiculously high price for something I wasn’t using. So, eventually ,I turned it on and opened up a different kind of world for myself. And while I don’t consider myself one of those obsessives who buries her nose in her phone every minute of every day, I do find that it comes in handy because I allowed myself to adjust and, due to that, my cell phone became the means by which my kids can call and text more often. And I can stay better in touch with friends. It’s an adjustment that has enhanced my life, even though I was dragged into it practically kicking and screaming.
Technology aside, we’re called on to make so many other adjustments. I adjusted to life without a mother, then without a father. I’ve adjusted to life after I went from walking to crutches to a wheelchair. I’m adjusting to a spotty amnesia that resulted from an illness I had a couple of years ago. Most of all, I’m constantly adjusting to all the things that surround my life, good or bad. I have to, or I’ll find myself encased in a life so small that it will eventually squeeze me in and trap me there. And I don’t want to be trapped because there are so many great, new experiences out there for me to have, if I allow them in. If I adjust.
Adjustment is defined as an adaptation to a particular condition, position, or purpose. Roget lists some of its antonyms as: disarrange, disorganize, disturb, disorder, confuse, worsen. Aren’t those ugly words? They’re sure not words I want in my life. When you look at the entire list of antonyms, it gives you acid indigestion or angst, or both. But the synonyms are so nice: accommodate, fine-tune, compose, harmonize, redress, rectify. All things I’d much rather do than disarrange or worsen. Sure, adjusting isn’t always easy, or pretty. Sometimes it goes against our natural grain or our preconceived beliefs and notions. But it’s also a means to growth and, in this day and age, we do have to grow in order to survive. That’s just the way the world is, now. Actually, it’s the way the world has always been. If not, we’d still be starting our fires with a flint (if we’d even adjusted ourselves to the point that we had fire) and hunting our dinner with a club or a spear.
So, here’s a practice adjustment to try. Tomorrow morning when you wake up scowling because you hate getting up in the morning, take ten seconds and smile. No, not a grudging smile. Make it a genuine one because you’re facing a new day with new possibilities. Be glad for those ten seconds. Make that smile your daily adjustment. Give yourself ten or maybe twenty seconds of smiling, with a couple of happy thoughts thrown in for good measure. Do this every morning and soon something as simple as a ten-second smile will become part of your daily routine. Sure, it may seem silly, but it may also be the baby step you need toward a much bigger adjustment you’ll have to make at some other time. And I promise you, your life is going to be filled with adjustments no matter what you do. How you handle them, though, is what will make the difference between being miserable and finding a place where you can be happy or, at least, happier than you would be if you refuse to budge. So, get over it, get on with it. Get around it, get through it. Change it, fix it. Budge, adjust. Make it accommodate your life and the lives of the people around you. Embrace it. Hate it, if you have to. But find a way to make it work. In the end, if you don’t, you’re the one who gets hurt, or left behind. That’s not where you really want to find yourself, is it?
Now my blatant promo for the day: Bachelor Doc, Unexpected Dad is out this month. It’s all about an Army doc who is faced with several big adjustments in his life, and how he confronts them. It’s available in all the usual places.
So, until next time, wishing you health & happiness.